OWN IT. AMEND IT. REINVENT IT.
Posted by Mike Foster: Follow Mike on Twitter
I have a very simple process and framework for responding to and recovering from a failure.
Now I realize life isn't this "simple" but I do think the process offers a straight forward pathway. I've used it often in my own life and when counseling people.
(Btw, I'm going to build out each step a lot more in later blog posts. This is just a quick review.)
So here is an intro to the 3 steps:
1. OWN IT: The first step is to cut the crap and stop making excuses. We own it 100%! We stop the excuses and the image management. We embrace humility and we get a clear understanding of our contribution to the failure. However, this step does not involve self hatred or victimhood. This doesn't give us permission to be Mr. Sack Cloth and Ashes. This is a proactive step of courage. Without owning it completely we can never move forward in true health.
2. AMEND IT: Step 2 involves us finding ways to fix what we broke. With integrity we make every attempt to right the wrong. Now not all things can be fixed but making amends is critical. Step 2 not only impacts current circumstances but more importantly sets the stage for our future endeavors.
Often we often confuse amends with punishment. Amends is NOT about adding to the destruction, additional pain, hurt, or suffering. It is about the reconstruction of a second chancer. As friends, we screw this up all the time and I look forward to talking about this more later.
3. REINVENT IT: Let me shoot straight. I believe we waste pain all the time. The PHD we earned in the valley is rarely put to good use. Too many of us lack the strategic imagination for our life and how we can leverage our failure for something greater. If our lives, relationships, leadership roles, priorities, and work looks exactly like it did before our fall, then we have wasted one of the greatest life opportunities we will ever experience. We need to reinvent our world, not just repeat it and fill it with the same opportunities we had before.