How To Know When To Move On

If you think you’ve had a taco but haven’t eaten one in San Diego then you haven’t actually had one. The tacos where I live are some of the best in the world, I’m convinced.

So it’s one of my favorite things when I get to treat my wife and daughter to a taco night. 

Now, what if after my family had eaten the best tacos in the world and paid our bill, we just continued to sit at our table? What if we sat there so long that we got hungry again after the store closed?  We’d lean over the waiter cleaning his last table and say, “Hey, sir. Can we get another awesome taco?”

He’d reply, “I’m sorry sir, the kitchen is closed.”
You’re reading this thinking, there’s no point to you sitting there that long. Go home Mike. Who does that!

And you’re right. That’s my point.

There are some friendships we’ve been sitting in that once were the best thing in our lives that have shut down. They have betrayed and broken us. And while the other person has wiped up all their mess and turned the “Closed” sign around, we continue to remain hoping for something amazing again.

Yes, there are times when we need to stick out a hard time with a friend or forgive and continue on.

However, there are other times where we need to get up and move on.

How do we know the difference between the two?
Nina Simone answers this way: “You have to learn when to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.”

For a healthy friendship to exist, love has to be present. And not the emotion, the verb. The active patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and selflessness required to allow one another to thrive in this crazy hard world, not just survive. 

In your friendships, always look for love.
If you can’t find it, the lights are off and there’s no one to offer you back for the investment you’re making back into them, it may be time to push under your chair and with a “thank you” walk out.  

It has been good but it is time to go. 

This is not an excuse to ditch your friends but a reminder to stop feeding yourself with toxic relationships. We were made to make each other better. To build and rebuild brokenness. And to share life with others who are giving it back.  

Friendships that look for love will always find it. 


Mike Foster is the founder of People of the Second Chance and speaks and writes about overcoming life's setbacks. 

Mike Foster