Posted by Mike Foster: I’m always conflicted when talking about the latest scandal involving some celebrity, sports star, pastor, or friend. 

It feels so opportunistic to me and sadly revolves around our insatiable appetite for personal destruction. Too often it is based on media outlets looking for ratings, bloggers looking for hits, magazines trying to increase sales, and our stale conversations looking for some fresh meat to gossip about.

Tragically all this adds to the pain for this person and throws salt in the wounds of the families and friends.   

I have personally walked with leaders and friends who have gone through a very public crisis. These times are raw, emotional, painful, devastating, and fragile. I’ve also had the “privilege” of being in a few public things myself.


As People of the Second Chance, here are a few of my suggestions: 

1. You have so many words that you can share in a day. Decide whether they will be about blessing or cursing someone.

2. When someone is caught in a scandal, I visualize two buckets that I can fill. I can add to the “Shame Bucket” or the “Second Chance Bucket.” Sometimes my first/easy/fun/human nature response is to fill the “Shame Bucket” so I have to work harder not to do that.  

3. For all you online peeps…write your articles, blogs, tweets, and comments as if the person in crisis (and their family) were reading it. Why? Because they do! And the jokes, snarky comments, sloppy facts and flippant remarks hurt people. Instead, devote your computer keyboard to the restoration of people.

4. Refuse to participate in the gossip session around the water cooler. Or better yet, jump in and turn the conversation towards grace and second chances. Btw, just plan on being called a “buzz kill” and not invited back to any more social functions.

5. Realize we are either part of the judgment problem or the grace solution. But we can’t be both. So choose wisely.


Do you have any other suggestions or things that you do?

Mike Foster