Screen shot 2010-08-05 at 2.10.55 AM Posted by Mike Foster:

This week the California law banning gay marriage was overturned. Without question, Prop 8 has been a volatile issue in California.

Unfortunately, the results of the gay marriage debate have been polarizing and divisive.

First off let me say, I live in California. I had to endure the $60 million worth of attack ads from both sides during the election season. I've heard all the arguments. And yes, I did vote on the issue.

So I'm not writing this post so we can debate even further. I'm actually quite sick of it. I'm writing to address our lack of grace and civility towards each other in the midst of this ongoing debate.

In my new book GRACENOMICS, I talk about how in order for grace to work, we must be willing to see someone else's perspective.

Black and white thinking is deadly in our relationships with each other. I also believe our inability to see another's point of view is the highest form of disrespect.


No one listens. Everyone is so damn certain about everything. And each side has it all figured out. Name calling and yelling are all on the menu.

With Prop 8 we have witnessed the text book formula for demonizing people with opposing ideas. Simplify their views and then not offer them the same humanity you would want shown to yourself. Both sides are guilty.

Now pundits pontificate, news agencies score another hot topic, and fundraisers salivate over the opportunity to raise big money again.

The gay marriage debate breaks my heart and stands in strong opposition to the things I believe we should truly care about...each other.

And to my church buddies, let me say this.

I've always tried to let the teachings of Jesus set my priorities and my passions. I've always thought it was a wise thing to look at him as the example. Old Testament, New Testament, Paul, the prophets, all great stuff. But when in doubt, I default to Jesus' modeling for life. Especially with people. Call me a heretic if you want, but thats how I roll.

And as I look at Jesus, I see him responding so very tenderly to sexual issues. I think he knew that is what we needed. Remember how he surprised us with his kindness towards the woman caught in adultery. No harshness or brutal condemnation. No raising his voice or cutting remarks. He left that intensity for the hypocrites. Just something to consider as we open our big yappers.

The gay marriage argument will continue. That is certain.

But it is my hope that in the midst of the fighting, debating, and stirring of intense emotions, that civility is possible. From both sides.

And in the darkness of the debate, the light of grace will break forth.

UncategorizedMike Foster