CONFESSIONS OF A LIAR
By Acamy Menson:
Coming clean as a compulsive liar was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
What people don’t know won’t hurt them, right? Wrong. The lies will always stay small, right? Wrong. I can stop lying and start over whenever I like, right? Wrong.
It started in high school. I wanted to make myself look strong in other people's eyes; I was so tired of people thinking I was weak. I wanted people to see me as better than I thought I actually was. Eventually, I came to believe I was in too deep to ever stop, so I just kept lying.
After graduating, I attended a Christian university. I pretended to be a Christian, but my life was a facade. The lies got worse and worse, and though I prayed sometimes for forgiveness, even that felt like a lie.
But, it turns out lying is hard. You have to keep track of your stories and all the variations, and eventually I was caught. In April 2012, my Resident Director confronted me with about four pages of conflicting stories, and I knew it was over.
And while admitting my lies was hard, that confrontation became the start of my second chance. She was the first person I had EVER come clean to, and after keeping it all in for four years, it was good to get it out. That was the push I needed to start coming clean to all of the friends I ever lied to. And while I lost lots of friends, there were a few people who forgave me and wanted to help me. It was hard to understand how they could still tolerate me, but it gave me strength to move forward.
I ended up moving to a new university and starting over. No longer branded with the label of liar, I’ve found new friends who accept me despite my past. I've also reached out to people at my previous university, and am trying to build those relationships back up. Best of all, sometime around September, my desire to lie went away, and was replaced by a desire to finally connect with the faith I’d lied about for so long. I thought my life was ruined, but by being forced to confront my problem, and through the support of faith and friends, it turns out my life is just getting started!
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