I KNOW WHO I'M NOT
By Max Dubinsky: I used to watch pornography every day. I have been told I am a sex addict.
I'm just a self-published blogger without book deal. I'm not a real writer.
I am a husband but my wife makes more money than I do. I am not a man.
I am not an athlete. I drop the ball and look like a gazelle when I run. Because of this I have been called a girl, a fag, and a homo so I must be gay.
I once told a joke where I made a derogatory comment about someone whose skin color is different than mine. I was fired the next day. Now I am a racist.
I cheated on my girlfriend in college, which means I am untrustworthy.
I received a D on my six-grade report card, and did not graduate from high school with honors. I am an idiot.
I broke a promise to my mother that I wouldn't take a drink while I was in high school. I am no longer a man of my word.
I write about being a gentleman, but I've taken things too far with a woman and never called her again. I am a selfish pig.
I say I have a heart for the homeless, but I've ignored them if giving change would inconvenience my day. This makes me a hypocrite.
I believe in the Gospel, but I once denied my love for Jesus to a woman because she was an atheist and I thought she might sleep with me. I am unforgivable.
I am alone.
I am the only one struggling.
Do you still want to know who I am? Do you still want anything to do with me now that you know I've been labeled a liar, a cheater, a hypocrite, and a sex addict?
We are labeled a lot of things in this life, and it starts the moment we are born. Maybe this why we come into the world crying. Because deep down inside we know we are innocent and we want to stay that way, but everyone is already assuming the worst about us. And we are defenseless. We believe we are a product of our environment rather than the product of intelligent design and love. All it takes it one mistake in the gym class to be labeled a "wimp," and a "fag." One day of wearing the wrong outfit your freshman year of high school to be called out and beat down by the "popular" kids.
Can you picture a world where we walk around every day wearing shirts plastered with the labels: "Liar," "Cheater," "Porn Addict," "Gay," "Abusive," or any of the atrocities we commit against ourselves and each other? A life where we let those around us shape the perception of our reality with their opinions of us? Where everyone has embraced the labels given to them without question, and accepted the lie of what was said about you in the locker room after gym as truth? Or letting your identity lie in one past mistake, one feeling or lustful thought?
The most dangerous part of labels is how easily we can become what we've been labeled.
I used to watch pornography every day, but my identity is NOT as a recovering sex addict.
I blog, am self-published, and do not have a book deal, but I AM a writer.
My wife makes more money than I do, and I am STILL a man.
I have spoken in a derogatory manner to someone with different skin color than me, but I am not a racist.
I have broken promises, and as a result I make sure my "yes" means yes and my "no" means no.
I graduated high school with GPA under 3.5, but I am intelligent and capable.
I cheated on a girlfriend in college, but my wife trusts me entirely.
I have ignored the homeless and I am a hypocrite, but I am NOT alone.
I am not the only one struggling.
Who am I?
I am Max Andrew Dubinsky. I am a sinner. I am forgiven.
Those are the only labels that do not lie.