CRAZY SEX AMENDS AND 5 OTHER DUMB IDEAS
Posted by Mike Foster:
Making amends can be very critical to rebuilding after a failure.
But honestly, I'm often baffled by what righting a wrong looks like to some people.
Here are a few unproductive types I've seen:
1. REVENGE AMENDS Sometimes amends will come in the form of unreasonably harsh conditions put on the failed person. This is where amends looks more like cruel payback for someone hurting you. You make them suffer and take great pleasure in them groveling, struggling, and making them miserable.
2. F-YOU AMENDS Of course we have amends where the perpetrator tells the victim to just get over it! An example would be Bernie Madoff being quoted as saying, "F--k my victims! I carried them for 20 years, and now I'm doing 150 years." This is when pure narcissism and sociopathic personalities kick in. Unfortunately, I've seen this way too often.
3. WUSS OUT AMENDS This is where we apologize and make amends to people who were not directly hurt by our actions. We avoid the real victims we have injured and only say sorry to secondary people who we feel comfortable engaging with. An example would be saying sorry on your blog or in a public statement but never directly (and in person) to the actual people involved. A face to face apology is a powerful thing and is often overlooked in our digital age.
4. CRAZY SEX AMENDS Sorry but I had to throw this one in. Last week 24 year old Anri Suzuki from Tokyo told Chinese media that she wanted to make amends for the Sino-Japanese War. The war resulted in the deaths of 23 million Chinese people, including 18 million civilians. She said, "I want to cure the wounds of China with my body, and I offer to do this by having sex with Chinese students in Japan. I think it would be a symbolic compensation for them." Enough said.
5. THE POSSE AMENDS This is where we send someone else in to clean up our mess and fix the problems we have made. Let's face it! It's always easier to let someone else deal with it but it's not very productive. Often we let our posse, staff, assistant, lawyer or PR people handle it because we are too busy, too important, or simply don't give a crap.
6. BUREAUCRATIC AMENDS This is where some organization dictates some stupid process that does more damage than good. They create some plan that is confusing and is poorly managed. Often this involves boilerplate language put together by lawyers and rarely accomplishes anything positive.
Any other types of amends that you have seen? Good or bad?