Attach Positive Possibility To Negative Circumstance

Posted by Mike Foster Did you know than an emotion only has the biological lifespan of about 90 seconds? That’s so short compared to how long we tend to mull over things. And we find ourselves frequently sitting down to coffee, chatting across the cubicle at work or having dinner with someone who is dealing with these emotional blips they have morphed into massive life road bumps.

But you can see down the road a little more clearly than they can.  You know that this emotion they felt is so small but their struggle with it will make them stronger.  Better. Wiser.

So how do we effectively walk with our coffee, cubicle and cooking companions through their feelings? In our own lives, how can we make the most of our moments when we feel like a 90 second emotion will last a lifetime? Attach a positive possibility to a negative circumstance.

You can do this through what I like to call “Yes… and…” statements.

“Yes, it’s bad. Really, really bad… and I’m never going down that road again.” “Yes, I shouldn’t have yelled at my son… and now I have a chance to ask for his forgiveness and grow our relationship.”' “Yes, my divorce was the most painful thing I ever went through… and I was able to learn who my true friends were.” It’s not about softening or even denying the truth of the emotion but about focusing on the fact that there are other things to be grateful for. There is a bright future ahead.

What is your  “Yes… and…” statement?

Mike Foster is the founder of People of the Second Chance and the author of Freeway: A Not So Perfect Guide To Freedom. He lives in San Diego with his family and fluffy dog.

Mike Foster